Ridiculous proof that football really is groovy.

Heinz Field in Pittsburgh, PA. They have the giant screen there on the one end of the field. On top of that, they have two giant Heinz ketchup bottles. When the home team (in today's case it was the Panthers) gets ready to score, the two bottles' caps open up, the bottles tip and "pour" ketchup into the giant vid screen which then fills up and says "You Are In The Red Zone - Pittsburgh Panthers". It was cool and stupid and something you'd only see at a sports event. We crushed Toledo. We also sat in the lovely SUITE, which if you don't know, is like sitting in a big fancy hotel room, complete with yer own bathroom, fridge o' beer, ice, and more. And of course a lovely view of the entire field from the side. I dug it a lot. Was my first time in such a situation. The tickets were free, so who could complain? I look forward to many more.

She's already pushing her shit in my eyes.

Yep, that'd be KELLY CLARKSON selling her fucking shitty as shitty shit CD single all over the place. Now here's a completely worthless chick that can't sing worth a fuck who gets dough thrown at her to sing some crap songs...and hey that album will be out in the next few months! Why not just pay some guy to shit shit logs into CD cases and slap a UPC code on it and sell it for 16 bucks?

You don't need that. You need more Captain Beefheart, friends. Oh so much more T r o u t M a s k R e p l i c a. Sure, fuck to it and revel in the reveling, you revel, revel. Tore yer damn dress.

mp3.com really is shitty.

OK so, back to my infamous album recorded in less than a day news. I told you all I uploaded the tracks to mp3.com so the entire world can enjoy this shit as they please. So that was what, a week or so ago? Anyway, I get all these emails (one for each of the 15 tracks) telling me the songs are on hold because they were placed in the wrong genre. I placed them in EXPERIMENTAL. You know where they wanted em? The EXPERIMENTAL subgenre of ALTERNATIVE music. So I fixed 'em and now they're back in the queue. What a bunch of ridiculous bullshit. Kids, don't ever take that site seriously. I sure as hell don't.

Really Stupid Link Of The Day

If this link doesn't prove the whole thing about vampires (or whatever the fuck this thing is) being completely ridiculous, then I dunno what will. Damn, but that messy mouth of hers sure gets me hot. Whatever.

OK, I've decided that Blogcritics.org is one of the crappiest sites I've ever witnessed, hands down. I mentioned this thing a week or so ago and didn't like it, but I like it even less now. They redesigned the front page, and now it's filled with way too many items to choose from. I mean, who's gonna sit there and drag through all that crap? C'mon guys, put a little design into your design. Too much chaos sucks. Of course, the website itself isn't anything o crow about either, but there could be some orderly fashion to the whole thing.

Christ, it's been a busy day. Reviews written, interviews conducted, phone calls made, weight lost! Still, I like the productive days a lot more than the ones where only a couple things happen. It's good to stay busy. Time to do more!

You know, Art of The Mix is an OK site, if one that's a bit goofy. For those of you unfamiliar with it, you just go and post the track listings of your favorite mix tapes, CDs, or mp3 lists that you have made or are planning to make, or might not ever make. Then other users comment and tell you what they think. It just seems to me that there's a high snobbery factor going on there. For instance, if you make something with more obscure, "hip" artists, you'll usually get lots of comments and kudos, but if you just slap something fun together with more well-known acts, you usually won't get shit. Not that I need my mixes validated, I know they're the ginchiest around! But there is a hint of "try to be as cool as you can" there. Oh, and if you're lucky you may have someone pick your shit as the MIX OF THE WEEK. Wow! Is there no end to the ways geeks can become instantly cool online?

Themestream, Writtenbyme, and Epinions - Three web sites created by Satan

Laugh all you want at that title, but it's true! I dabbled in all three, so I should know. Epinions is undoubtedly a huge waste of time and effort, so we won't even go there, nor will I bore you with my own sordid tales of the beast. But I would like to touch upon the other two wretched crapfests that are now thankfully defunct.

Themestream and Writtenbyme were two websites that supposedly allowed you to write whatever you liked in exchange for cash! In WBM's case, it was "deweys" - these shitty things that were less than a penny in value that could be saved up and exchanged for gift certificates at various online retailers. Well the long and short of it is that Themestream died off because of the dot com crash, and Writtenbyme was taken over by the monkeys of the site. Those who would deem Nazi tactics worthy when it came to this lame Aussie-based shithole. I pissed off enough people there myself, but really, what else is there to do when the site has an Erotica section and people write lousy porn on it? I wrote a few good porno bits of my own and then shit started getting pulled left and tight. To try to strengthen the site, WBM turned to a hierarchy method that other dim-witted sites such as the keg of vomit Epinons employs. Shorthly thereafter, the entire site went bust and folded. But not before the assholes who ran it promised such famous failing tactics as the possibility oh having YOUR stories and shit sold to publishers who would then in turn pay you for your magnificent crap!

But that's just the thing. So many of the people there could not write to save their lives. It was usually the same bunch of Stay At Home Moms and other types that leeched on Epinions. We had to read about loved ones dying, tear jerking pieces about pet deaths, and other dumb shit of that formula that often made "Editor's Choice". Oh yeah, you can tell a place is top notch when the Editor chooses garbage about little Fluffy getting chewed up by a chipper as the best of the best.

My advice to the armchair writers who enjoy getting paid a few measly cents for reviews on tableware and U2 CDs is please find another line of work. No one's banging down the doors of your favorite pay per click sites to seek out such talents as yourselves. No one really gives a shit how well you wrote that piece on Betty Crocker's chocolate cake mix. Go out and breathe some fresh air. It's good for ya.

So what about the album you recorded in one day, J.?

Oh that! Yeah I forgot to tell you about that. Well, actually it was recorded in less than a day (started one night, finished it up the next afternoon, all told it probably took about an hour tops). 15 songs, all but one of which wrap up at 2 minutes. The other one is under 2 minutes. What I did was just sing improvised lyrics for 2 minutes, then took that shit into ACID Music and started throwing random loops and beats over the top of the singing. Then I hacked those loops and beats up with the eraser tool and finally threw random filters on top of the vocals in Cool Edit Pro. What the hell everything was going to sound like was a mystery to everyone, including me. I didn't mess with anything. The end result was the finished product. I only messed around with the volume levels of each "track", no belabored mixing and remixing. I put it all up on mp3.com and it's going through the approval process right now, so I will let you know when it's finished. It's super crap, but I love it a lot, and it was probably one of the most enjoyable albums I have ever recorded simply because I shit in the wind and it all blew back onto the CD.

I've got nothing to say but it's OK.

Good morning.