Fun Hate Mail

Everyone's a critic! Here's a couple criticisms of my criticisms (including my replies). Enjoy!

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Date: Sun, 07 Sep 2003 19:53:43 -0400
From: "Jason Thompson"
Subject: Re: Huey Lewis and the News' "Sports": your review
Organization: Lycos Mail (http://www.mail.lycos.com:80)
To: FilmFreak1982@aol.com
Reply To: eferox@lycos.com

Hi there! Thank you for enjoying the review you have critiqued on EFE. Now...onto your criticisms:
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>First off:

>
>Sorry, but there is nothing cheesy about innovative >and imaginative instruments. The problem here? >You, along with nearly every other critic in this world, >have no imagination.

We thank you for using this clever attempt at pissing us off! You forget however, that a review is just an opinion. We are entitled to ours as much as you are to yours. Imagination? We have plenty! Now come up with a better argument, friend!


>>>The singles from Sports seemed to define that summer of '83.<<

>Actually, that would be the summer of 1984. "Sports" >was released in October of 1983.

OK, you got us here. You must be the quintessential Huey Lewis and the News fan. What do you think about their first album? We feel that it's actually better than Sports.


>>>They were fun, memorable, and not very deep. But that's how a lot of rock music was at the time.<<

>And I wouldn't have had it any other way. I love the >rhythms and melodies. Lyrics are secondary for me. >These are not storybooks. If I don't like the music, first >and foremost, the rest of the song means nothing to >me. Fortunately, these songs are very catchy,
>and they have a lot of soul (or should I say "Heart and >Soul").

Yes they are. But again this is an opinion. Why argue?

>>>Unfortunately, the present day shallow waters aren't as interesting by a long shot.<<

>Today, no. But twenty years ago, I waded in those >shallow waters night, day, and everything in between.

This is a criticism? We were actually taking up for the album at this point. If you notice...the entire review would chalk up Sports as a 3 star affair. That's not so very bad, is it?

>Could be perhaps that it was their intention? Open >your mind.
>I never make any rock-solid conclusions about >someone else's work unless they themselves explain >what their intention was.

When artists lay their heads and souls out on the chopping block, we are there with our axes! You make your conclusions, we make ours. So what?

>>>I don't know about you, but singing about the actual song the singer is singing was a worn out idea even by 1983, and here, Huey and pals don't make it any better.<<


>Well now, had I heeded this, I would never have >found that I actually LIKED this song.

Hindsight being 20/20 and all. Yes, we know...

>>>no matter how many flaws it may contain.<<

>Welcome to reality: EVERYTHING has a flaw or two. It >was made by human beings for human beings, though >judging from your attitude, you must be superhuman >or less than human.

Welcome to EFE. Again, you don;t seem to grasp the reality that critics have their own opinions of things. We know we have done our job well when you send in such crabby emails as this one. Thank you!

>I've got bad news for you: your warning came too >late. I've listened to the album all the way through >many times and have experienced none of the >problems you mentioned. Perhaps you should loosen >up and open your mind to other possibilities.

Do you REALIZE how many kids have never even heard this album? Perhaps you should realize there aren't people as old as you (or us) on this planet.

Keep reading and have a super day!

Your pals at Echo From Esoterica.

www.esotericecho.com


--------- Original Message ---------

DATE: Mon, 12 Jan 2004 12:16:35
From: "Carlos Palacios" [cp112700@hotmail.com]

It's come to my attention that your reviewer Jason Thompson has no idea how to review a record. It seems to me that all he does is see what other reviewers have said about a record and use that as a starting point to make his own shitty assestment rather then just listen to the record and state his own personall views without any prior knowledege. Any jerk can get online and see what everyone else thinks about a record but only good music writers can take apart a record and discuss it for what it's really worth. Maybe he should check out your links go to the Whitecastle site and look in the employment section he might find his calling.
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Carlos,

Nice attempt at an insult there, buddy! Which reviews didn't you like in particular? If you think you can do it better, then do it. I don't see anyone asking you for your opinions. By the way, you're allowed to be wrong. Have a great day and keep enjoying EFE! I'ts letters like yours that let us know we're doing an impeccable job.

Your pals at EFE.
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Actually, working at White Castle would be a fucking honor. Those burgers rule! (By the way, I'm up for a 2004 Cravers Hall of Fame award from the great WC.) Sadly, there are no Castles in or near Pittsburgh. I think I'll send Carlos a Speak 'N Spell for Xmas this year, too.

Musician Response

Gary from Honeyrider wrote me tonight. He read my not terribly negative, but nonetheless basically negative review on Echo From Esoterica of the band's recent reissue of their album All Systems Go! Here's what he had to say:

hi jason-

gary from honeyrider, thanks for the review! we were about due for a roasting. i was entertained by your perspective. i've always viewed myself as an outsider and far removed from anything considered cool. some of the things you said i almost took as compliments. i got the feeling you felt as though we were cool enough to hate. it's always strange to read reviews good or bad because i never understand where their [sic] coming from, i just know what i'm trying to do and enjoy. it's alway interesting to get a different perspective than the one that exists in your own world. i'm just some guy working a day job, buying records, recording a few tunes when i can and hoping someone will release the stuff.

best regards,
gary

I wrote back and told him things could have been worse. How worse? Well Martha Lipton sure as hell got knocked around a bit, didn't she?

Hometown Hits The Shits

You know, I'm originally from this small town in Tennessee called Kingston. Rinky-dink little place that's quite pleasant and all but a huge bore when it comes to anything to do there. Well, tonight I ventured onto a webpage for the town and read through the message boards as moderated by city council person Wade Creswell. Wade...was he someone that annoyed the piss outta me? Let me check my old high school annual quick...oh yeah, him. Never knew the dude.

Anyhow, the people on the board are trying to come up with ways to get the TEENS and KIDS more interested in sleepytown Kingston, Tennessee. My advice is this, Mr. Wade Cresswell: Give up. It's not 19fucking90 anymore. Times have changed and no one wants to hang out in such a dull locale. Kingston will never have the funds or an actual coalition of folks to develop anything that neighboring Knoxville doesn't already have (namely, lots of shops, malls, clubs, theatres, etc.). Fuck, when I was in dumpy-ass Roane County High School back in the late '80s/early '90s everyone was already hanging out in K-town. There were remnants of the earlier decades of dweebs hanging out in the city park parking lot (mostly dumbfucks who had turned their pickup trucks into "lowriders" by lowering the suspension, or moreover the vehicle's resale value; idiots), but the desire was to always get the fuck out of Kingston to have fun.

Look, I've only been away from that whole area almost two years now and I can't tell you how much happier I am in the 'Burgh than I ever was in the graveyard areas of Kingston, Harriman, Rockwood, Oak Ridge, and Knoxville. I'm not sure what keeps some there. Maybe it's a genuine like, but my god I can't imagine a worse fate than having to eke out a whole lifetime there.

Oh and they also talked about Kingston's drug problem, which was a huge laugh. Look you morons, drugs have ALWAYS been in that town. They were huge when I was in high school. The only thing was people fucking hid them well. One idiot (maybe it was Wade) on that board said that "good kids don't associate with bad kids". What an idiotic statement. I hate to say it, but drug usage does not make one person any better or worse over another. But then we're talking about a town mired in southern Baptist and Church of Christ mentalities that still believe the good guys always wear white. I suggest Wade smoke a couple joints, drop some pills, and drink a shitload of booze.

I'm not necessarily advocating illicit substances. However, I am calling out morons on their retarded thoughts. Oh, Kingston, how you amuse me. You'll never wake up and that's exactly why you're in such a rut. Is Jody McLoud still the principal of RCHS? How sad. Former local sports coaches all got to be principal. That dude Gary Collins included. I do recall Billy Linville being a cool guy, but he barely knew how to even pronounce the names in the physical science texts (yeah, the dude got to teach a science class, very sad). Roane County High School and its teachers save for a Mr. Suits, a Mrs. Crossno, and Mrs. McAdams (later Evrett) - who were all fantastic teachers - was such a fucking sad joke. I hope since then the teachers have become better, because at the time I was there the majority were complete fucking idiots.