Why do you want to read sex stories about Avril Lavigne?

So I'm looking through my stats report today about that you people look for in searches and what ultimately brings you here. For some reason, too any of you are searching for "Avril Lavigne sex stories". Why? Why in God's name would you want to read sex stories about that poop-faced hack? The day Avril becomes fodder for masturbatory fantasies for me is the day I'll have my dick freeze dried so it can never be abused in such a way again.

Also, a ton of you are searching for "weird insertions" and "weird pussy insertions". For fuck's sake, what the hell do you want to put up inside there? I'd say if some of you could manage it, you'd be sticking your heads back up in one to revisit the womb. Time ti get outside a little more, folks.

j00 W4|\|7 3|=3 70 |)\3vi3wZ 73h mp3?

So I get an email today from a...Byron James asking me to check out some mp3s by this band called Nadsat Fashion. OK, number one, the band name is awful, so let's get that out of the way. The email apologized for lack of any band info on the band's website, but was hoping that the sound would put them over for now.

Well, they're wrong in thinking that.

I dunno, but is this whole NYC music explosion getting shittier by the band? I think this might be the case. Nadsat Fashion sounds like some godawful mix of goth-pop electrobastardized RAWK. It stinks. I encourage you all to never listen to this band. If you feel you must, go in with gas masks and smelling salts.

And to think they interrupted my pure listening enjoyment of The Police's Ghost In The Machine. Feh.

Why Is At All The Morons Defend The Shittiest Bands?

Got this following letter last night in regards to a review that I wrote about the FM Knives and their piece of shit album Useless & Modern on Echo From Esoterica.
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Date: Mon, 19 May 2003 20:22:38 -0700 (PDT)
From: Ann Thrope rockasshole123@yahoo.com [+]
Subject: Reviews.. just couldn't help myself.. an email to Jason Thompson re: his review of FM Knives - Useless and Modern

Sorry.. but I can't help but make some comments about Jason Thompson's review of FM Knives - Useless & Modern -

#1 - To assume that nobody outside of Sacramento has heard of this band, you are dead wrong. They are currently on tour, and sold out clubs in Seattle, New York, and Boston.. I heard Detroit was packed as well.

#2 - What the hell are you talking about? What is your fixation with Blink 182? Who the hell is Sum 41? Do you have any idea who PVC is? Have you ever heard the Kids (aka the Naughty Kids?) maybe you should learn a little more about the history of the genre you are reviewing, before writing off bands so quickly...

And finally - I just had to correct you on this one line..

"Granted, "Summer Holiday" is nothing but a Ramones ripoff, so dock it ten points straight out of the gate..."

Summer Holiday IS a blatent ripoff.. of PVC's "Today Red - Tomorrow Dead" (1970s band from Berlin) NOT the Ramones..
It's a great record.. http://www.cryptrecords.com/catalog_p2.htm


Maybe you should expand your musical knowledge a little beyone Rhino Comps and Epifat bands before writing reviews, huh?

Love,

Jerk Ass.. boy oh boy, I sure do like records.
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Note the person's name. "Ann Thrope" as in Miss Ann Thrope. Haha! How fucking original. Oh people - maybe I should take the time and learn about all kinds of incredibly shitty music before writing off some talentless hack band like the FM Knives. And I'm thrilled to know that they have "sold out" some shows in a few cities. Any hole in the wall that holds 25 people max has got to be good, right?

It also seems that Ann seems fixated herself on my "fixation" with Blink 182 and Sum 41 when I was expressly putting them down as well in the review. You gotta love the so-called "punk" crowd. Look, kiddies, your beloved genre died off eons ago and lousy bands like the FM Knives are only furthering that fact. But that's fine. People defend Celine Dion to their graves as well for some unknown reason. Yer allowed to be wrong.