The First Official Echo From Esoterica Shitburger Top Ten

I thought it was time to compile a list of ten of the worst CDs we've ever had the pain of reviewing at Echo From Esoterica. All of these folks should have never recorded an album, or at least recorded one that they then actually spent the time and money and effort to try and get the world to hear. Anywho, enjoy the list.

1. Lundy Lewis - I Ain't Through Yet

Lundy is undoubtedly the whipping boy of EFE. Nothing has ever quite compared to the fecal fest that is I Ain't Through Yet. Some of the worst rhymes and singing are here for you, as is some of the blandest white boy bullshit ever conceived in a recording studio.

2. West 78 - American Girl

Coming in a close second to Lundy is West 78, a bunch of washed up musical has-beens (or never-weres, actually) painfully trying to rock out. Kerry Bell is one of the worst singers anyone's ever heard (and if you don't believe me, check out some of the other reviews this disc got - some clods actually thought this tripe sounded good; what were you, high?). But fuck the music, the band's videos are where the real treasure is.

3. Two Steps To Infinity - For He Who Suffers

This one still has the wet paint sign on it. You wanna talk about misguided, bad rock music? Here ya go. A group of inept musicians fronted by a female lead vocalist who sounds like she'd be better suited singing kiddie songs thanks to her childlike voice turn out an energy draining EP that makes you want to rip off your ears and burn them in a sacrifice to the Underwood Devil, evil dark underlord of all that is potted meat.

4. A Little Space - Self-Titled

For those of you who aboslutely despise jazz rock, this album's for you. Big Al makes even New Age muzak sound tasty. His utter lack of good sounding instruments is a howler here. MIDI from hell takes over everything and vocalist Terrell Moran over croons everything into a VD-infested sexy stew that will make you ache for '70s porn soundtracks. Puny jazz rock has never been fucked over better.

5. Hayman Hartman - Day In Day Out

Yeah I know. You're asking yourself "Who the fuck are these dudes?" Good question. They're completely forgettable. I remember something about a lame song about a guy jealous of some girl who's fucking a guy in a cardigan sweater...

6. Gregori - Easy As...ABC

Gregori was poised to be some next teen heartthrob with bad electronic pop shit masquerading as good electronic pop shit. His website features the same shit it had on it two years ago. This disc is truly shitty. Still, you can probably pick up an even shittier Gregori coffee cup and t-shirt. Who needs music when you can sell other shit?

7. Motorbaby - Rise

Some other reviewers were actually suckered into this one. It is rather well produced, but Sharon Middendorf is plain vanilla when it comes to rock. She was a model before she was a musician, so that explains it all. And if you notice, a lot of those other reviews frothed over her figure. Big fuckin' whoop.

8. Majandra - The Sicks

Echo From Esoterica is proud to have published one of the most hated reviews online. Majandra Delfino fans were completely pissed off when this one originally ran. Get over it, kids. This stuff is flat out crappy. Apparently Maj is in the studio again. Don't these artists ever learn? Someone should pay her not to make more music. Stick to your lousy acting, Maj. Maybe you can get on another show that will be unmercifully canceled.

9. Anny - Strange & Beautiful

I'm still trying to figure out why this turdpile of an album was ever made. Anny Rusk is another person with a website that has never been updated. Her tune about her vibrator was laughable. Wait...so was this entire album...a golden treasure trove of wanked off poop!

10. Danny Wood - Second Face

Search the Blog archives for the original review. It's new enough so you won't have to dig deep. This one goes out to all of those who got pissed off about it. C'mon, it sucked. Certainly you can even figure that out. Oh wait, you listen to shitty music, so perhaps you can't.

: )

So I'm now fully moved into my first ever house. It's nice to not be living apartment life anymore. After so many years of it, it is kind of odd to be living in a place now where I can do whatever I like decorating wise and so forth (most apts won't let you paint the walls). Also nice for my four cats. The last apartment I was at only allowed one, so I had various things covering all the windows so they couldn't see out and cause a grand eviction. Now they can look out whenever they like. Oh, plus there's a nice big cellar here so the litter boxes are down there and if they happen to decide to shit on the floor (which they liked doing at the old apt), it won't matter and be much of an easier cleanup. Anyway, everything's groovy.